Slow, deep breath in...
Long, deep breath out...
Try to calm my mind. Try to figure out what I should focus on, what do I need to focus on?
What is worth it? What can I just let go?
Start answering these questions, then go from there.
I don't know what this thing is about.
I have nothing else to say. Today was a whirlwind!
It's only Tuesday and it's already been crazy busy, and there's no end in sight. I'm just hoping that means the week will fly by and Spring Break will be here before I know it.
"Only" 23 more days...
I have officially made it my mission to drink less Coke. It's becoming a problem, and I need to fix it. So, today was day 1 of switching out water for Coke at lunch. And I did it! Then, we had two meetings after work today, and a grade level provided snacks. So, I had a cup of Coke. And a cupcake.
But it's ok. Right now my goal is to decrease the amount of Coke, and I did that. I didn't go back for seconds, and I still drank water. And the cupcake? I rarely eat those. I saw who made them, and it is someone who is a good cook. And it was good!
Then I went to the gym and ran my five miles. Finally, I stepped on the scale. Down a pound! In a dream world, I'd love to get back down to my right-after-college weight. I'd also love to get back to that age, but whatever! That's probably not going to happen. Realistically, I'd like to lose about 9 more pounds. Just gotta keep working on that water, then add more good habits.
This weekend. Where did it go? With the
more reading and
the run and
the gym and
the errands and
the laundry and
This week. It flew by too fast.
I have a problem with the whole "all or nothing" thing. It doesn't affect me in every area of my life, but one major area when it does is with schedules. I HATE when I have a schedule planned out and then I need to rearrange something. And if it happens too much, I start to just give up and I end up all over the place and nothing gets done. Ooh, I'm getting worked up just thinking about it!
One way that's showing up is with my training schedule. I'm currently training for a half, and it's been a lot harder than any other race I've trained for. My work schedule sucks, so I already have to shuffle around the days. I'm also exhausted from work, so sometimes the last thing I want to do in that moment is go exercise for at least an hour.
Today, I'm going to do a first for me. I'm switching some Saturday runs! :o I was supposed to get up early for an 8 mile run. Instead, I stayed in bed. I was tired AND the cold weather has decided to come back (whyyyy). And now, I just don't feel like doing it. Instead, I will meet someone next week to do the 8 mile run on the trails of a battlefield about an hour away, and I'll do the 5k that was scheduled for next week today. Now I'm excited about both runs!
Sometimes I get scared that if I change one thing, I'll start changing everything. I'm realizing that I need *this* particular change, and that's ok! I will also try to use this battlefield run to motivate me to eat better and drink more water throughout the week.
Sometimes, an all or nothing attitude can work. But more often than not, we need at least a little flexibility.
In class, we are working on a strategy we call 3 words. The students pick what they think are the three most important words from the text they're reading and then defend their choices. Well, I only need one word for today: frustration. *
And this is where I realize I need to concentrate on me, think about what I have control over. In respect to one situation, I've done what I can. And that sucks that it's now up to people I don't even know.
So tonight, I'm going to indulge in some soda and popcorn. I'm going to read and then sit on my couch and watch TV. Then, I'm going to try to move on. I have a quote on my computer that I need to read more often: If it can be solved, there's no need to worry, and if it can't be solved, worry is of no use.
*I will also add that I somehow lost this post during my first writing of it. Guess frustration was the right pick! ;)
Then, stay after for two hours of tutoring which was more go go go go go.
Come home, scarf down some food, give it some time to digest, then off to the gym for a tempo run.
Finally home, and now it's almost time for bed.
Just so I can get up tomorrow for some more go go go go go.
This March I will participate in my fifth SOLC. Something that I have found interesting is that this seems to get harder for me each year; I think it's because the past few years have come with so much change.
Last year was the first year I didn't officially finish the challenge. As I went to submit my writing on March 31, the time changed from 11:59 to 12:00 and in came April. Somehow that just seemed to fit my year.
Every year I wonder if I can do this, and each year it does seem harder. There is more and more stuff going on, more and more stuff on my mind. I do want to try though, because participating in this challenge does seem to help the month go by (and I know this March is going to be a hard one!). I do enjoy this challenge, so hopefully it'll be a nice relief.
Here's to my fifth year participating, and here's to 31 days of writing (hopefully)!